Oh, kitties! Sam & I were just told about that horrible commercial on TV. Have you seen it? I almost hate to even mention this embarrassing so-called filmmaking. Why, I even threw up my paws to cover my eyes! It’s the one about our litter of all things – t-hisssss one:
I am disgusted. Sam won’t even talk about it. He just grimaced, hissed, choked up a hairball and slunk off to another room. Now I’m left with the dirty work of asking for all kitties to Stand Up and Purr-Ro-Test! This film shows cats making choices between litter brands right on the TV screen, right in plain view! Appawwwling! I even tried to make my voice heard on a very important site called nypost and do you know what they said when I tried to tell my feelings? They said I used language not appropriate for their page. What?? Do they not speak Cat? Of course they don’t; if they did, they would have heard the caterwauling of those kidnapped fur-kids protesting this forced treatment. Being the upstanding beauty that I am, and knowing that it is our furlined duty to speak up, I am pasting what I said to those awful kitty-porn people, and you know who you are:
"Well, I, myself am a cat that shares a very clean household with another furry feline and let me say this: We would NEVER allow anyone to film US with a litter box. For heaven's sake, is there no privacy on the internet anymore? I'll bet those cats that participated in this lower than low filming didn't even realize their reputations would be flashed all over creation. A 'victimless crime'? We think not.
signed, Lucy The Beautiful and Sam The Man"
So, kitties, are you with me? Let's see those paws! United we stand for the ethical treatment of personal habits and hygiene; no more in-your-face humiliation for us! We stand for all exploited kitties that have no voice.
(Brought to you by the newly formed teamsterscatteryunion, free membership)